Costa del Golf Blog
|
Tiger Woods - Top Jokes
|
The best from the web ...
courtesy of Bitrebels
1. Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
2. Nike wants to drop their endorsement - apparently Tiger’s balls go everywhere.
3. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball more than 200 metres.
4. Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
5. Seven birdies have come out and said they've played a round with Tiger's wood. Eleven more and he'll have his very own golf course.
6. Tiger always gives 110 per cent. That is why he gave 100 per cent to his wife and still had 10 per cent left over for his alleged mistresses.
7. Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?
8. One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says he never talked about golf during sex. Yeah, but he did keep his head down and his left arm straight.
9. Despite his recent transgressions Tiger Woods never lied to his wife – whenever she asked where he was going he said: "To play a round."
10. Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me.
... and theres more ..!!!
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?
They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree … he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Clearly Tiger should have used a driver
I find it’s a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can’t see the Woods for the trees.
Why did Tiger’s wife go after him?
For holing one birdie too many.
What was the second worst part of Tiger’s car accident? The police found the driver in the trunk.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball farther than 300 yards.
Tiger Woods’ wife is renegotiating her prenuptial agreement. The rumor is she could get 80 million dollars…which is ironic because the only person that makes that kinda money for swinging a golf club is Tiger Woods.
One of the women who slept with Tiger Woods said he never talked about golf during sex. However, he did keep his head down and his left arm straight.
One of Tiger Woods’ mistresses has reportedly been telling friends that Tiger is great in bed. When Tiger heard this, he paid her $2 million to keep talking.
| Famous Golfing Quotes
|
Jack Nicklaus
Golf is not and has never has been a fair game
I think I fail just a bit less than everyone else
Ben Hogan
I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.
Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don't you?
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.
Bob Hope
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.'
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bobby Jones
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears.
Lee travino
When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron.
I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.
You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.
I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.
It's the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on.
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced
If my IQ had been two lower I'd have been a plant somewhere
I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.
Tom Watson
A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so.
Gary Player
The harder you work, the luckier you get.
 Excuses you can make after playing a bad Shot
Funny Golfing Videos
Funny Golf Photos
Back
|
|
|
PurePoint Golf's new instruction DVD - The Trouble Shots DVD. Get yourself out of trouble and onto the green with these helpful tips for the hardest shots in golf.
|
|
